Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Where in the World...

This is the forecast.

Not for Bemidji, Minnesota.

Not for Moose River, Maine.

And not for Fairbanks, Alaska.

The forecast for Bemidji, Minnesota is actually pretty cold. High of 15, low of 11.

If you were in Moose River, Maine, it's not a whole lot better. They'll get snow and then freezing rain later this week. Ice is the worst.

Fairbanks is actually the warmest of the three places, with their high temperatures getting into the 30s during the day.

No wonder people spend their time ice fishing. It's too dangerous to cross-country ski, but at least this gets you out of the house for a while. Not that I want to get out of the house this week...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Flying is No Vacation

Now that we get to submit to full-body scans and along with it, a dose of radiation, traveling is becoming more of a chore with each new security threat. Oh, I'm sorry, there is the option to be felt up by a TSA agent. That used to be called date rape, now it's the scanning of millions of travelers for the sake of a few nasty jerks.

This is bad enough, but then there is the part when you're on the plane.

Some thoughts:

1. If you’re traveling with a small child and you keep hearing bells, bells, and more bells, please look to see if it’s your child playing with the flight attendant call button.

2. An all-too-common scenario: Flight attendant hands you a cup of coffee and says, ‘Cream and sugar?’ You say, ‘What?’ She/he says, ‘Cream and sugar?’ You say, ‘What?’ Come on, people. What do you think we’re going to ask after we’ve handed you coffee? Your favorite color?

3. The lavatory door is not rocket science. Just push.

4. Just in case you hadn’t noticed, there are other people on the airplane besides you. So don’t clip your toenails, snore with wild abandon, or do any type of personal business under a blanket!

Yikes. Who wants a 17-hour flight to Australia?

From Yahoo's website.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Thirty Seven

The cake was chocolate, the candle was misleading.

Why does the candle say 8? It was the only candle in the house. Work with what you've got, that's our motto.

There is nothing misleading about chilled champagne.

Opening champagne is serious. You CANNOT SMILE or else the bottle will burst! People will be hurt! Champagne might be spilled!

This is SERIOUS, people.

I see your point: this IS serious. May your pour be true, my good man!

I have an idea. Wait, I need to eat this bite of cake...

...and, well, mommy needs a cocktail...

My idea: observe the effect of 3-D glasses upon the man of the house. The hypothesis? He will be disturbed.

(In all fairness, who wouldn't be? I'm no Elvis Costello. These things do not fly under the radar.)

It's as though you can read his thoughts...

tee hee hee!

After cake and champagne, the natural progression for us is....DANCE.

The song is "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun".

It was his idea.

I am not kidding.

Who looks like they're having the most fun?

This is competition!

It's Brittany v. Justin dance-off all over again.

Cake + endorphins + love =

A good night. Kind of takes my mind off of getting older.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Tastes Like Chicken

It isn't clear where one body ends and the other begins!*

Not from the same litter, but brothers, nonetheless.

*Yes, I will be posting a lot of kitten pictures. It's just who I am.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Budget News

Taxpayers are always complaining about the overblown budget of the Federal government, and how Federal spending is NUTS. The new plan to cut spending has been released. For you engineer-types, it's full of specifics. People are making fun of those specifics, but as the saying goes, the devil is in the details. Check it out.

Did you know $90 million a year is spent to restore beaches? And it isn't for oil spill cleanup, but to replace the sand that gets washed away naturally. NINETY MILLION. That's almost enough to give one person health insurance for a whole year.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

It's the Economy, Stupid

Not you! You're not stupid. The title of today's post is the catchphrase that Bill Clinton used to remind himself to STAY ON MESSAGE. (Remember when Democrats had a message, and worked together? The balanced budget of the 1990s seems so long ago...)

Anyway, how about a little story about a toxic asset? Hopefully, your investment portfolio does not include one of these little buggers.

From Planet Money, and This American Life. Check out the graphs on the Planet Money pages. You can look at a map to see where the mortgages contained in Toxie were located, and how they did by state.

A sad but catchy tune is, "Bet Against the American Dream....."

Bet Against The American Dream from Planet Money on Vimeo.

If you want to hear the story about Magnetar referenced in the song, here it is.

Friday, November 05, 2010

What We Did Last Summer

At the very end of the summer, we went camping. Not so remarkable. The part that is worth noting is, we took kittens.

I know, who DOES that?

Catching trout in the lake meant DINNER! for poopooheads. They loved it.

Wat iz dat?

We spent a few cold nights at Delintment Lake, in the Malheur National Forest. People saw the kittens and were like, hmmm, as they walked past. It was weird, but yet, it worked. They stayed at the campsite without much wandering, mostly because that was where the FISH and the WARMTH were. They were barely 6 weeks old at the time.

Nom nom nom nom nom...

It's good to get out and do something new....

...makes you more appreciative of the comforts of home.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

One of the More Stressful Colon Cleansings

One afternoon this week, we arrived home from class and had just put down our bags before a flash of movement out the window caught my attention, followed closely by sounds of furious clucking. In a flash I was out the door, chasing down a black and white dog that was engaged in a game of Hunting after one of our chickens. It literally scared the crap out of her. The dog stopped as soon as I yelled a single word (NO) and he beat a hasty retreat. My voice, infused with adrenaline-charged authority was all I needed. If only I had the same affect on bratty little kittens.

The chicken kept running from me after the dog was gone, not caring what was chasing her. Poor thing. She made for some bushes and hid, while I gave her a minute to realize that it was only me, the crazy woman who tortures the girls with singing and affectionate kisses.*

Isabella (the chicken) escapes from the chicken enclosure on a daily basis because she is a wanderer by nature. I'm guessing here. There's no roof on the chicken area, which is getting to be a problem now that we have a chicken that knows how to get out. The others look at her like she's a magician. "How did you do that?" they seem to cluck, even though they have watched her do it. I haven't seen her in the act, but I imagine it has something to do with jumping or flying to the top of things until she can get over the fence.

The grass is greener, except when a predator comes along.

This is from the spring when they were babies. One of these turds is Isabella, named after the Queen of Spain, circa 1474.(The other is Elizabeth I, Good Queen Bess.)

* Yes, I kiss my chickens. But not on the lips.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Halloween 2010

The costume this year came from the kingdom animalia, phylum chordata, class mammalia, order carnivora, family felidae, genus acinonyx, species acinonyx jubatus.

In English, she is a cheetah.

The process this year included nail polish in special "cheetah" effects...

...and makeup....

The cats were kind of freaked out by her ears. Milo kept staring at them, probably in order to attack them if they moved.

This isn't Milo. It's Dewey. He doesn't care about ears, he cares about food.

It was a big weekend. First a Girl Scout party, then trick or treating.

She's got the routine down by now. The way the candy is distributed as such: one for OC, one for mommy. One for daddy, one for OC.

Having kids is fun!

Living together in perfect harmony are acinonyx jubilata and feline domesticus.

Happy All Hallow's Eve!

Monday, November 01, 2010

Childhood, Illustrated

Beverly Cleary gave kids a voice in her Ramona books. Finally! An adult who could articulate the frustrations of being little, and SO MISUNDERSTOOD.

Now, we have an illustrated version. Enjoy some cake, by Allie Brosh.

Happy Monday.