Friday, June 15, 2007

Hello! I'm drunk. I love you!

Where to begin?

It's been ten days since my last post. Bless me father, for I have...not posted often enough.

My husband is going to hate this post, what with all the "f*cks" and "motherf*ckers". I just can't help myself, it's who I am. At least, it is when I'm drunk.

I'm back from DC. It was quick, an airline miles kind of thing. In other words it was a time for the airlines to tell me, "f*ck you, Occidental Girl, we're going to stick you on flights that are cancelled both ways and also, just for fun, you are going to be selected to go through super security because the flavor of the month is Single White Female. Don't mess with the U.S.A."

Yeah.

I made it to Portland before my overnight US Airways flight was cancelled due to thunderstorms. Over Pennsylvania. Did I mention I was flying out of Portland, Oregon? I know thunderstorms are serious, but like, the ones that the airlines were so fervently avoiding were on the east coast and maybe were, I don't know, likely to clear out during the five hour flight across the country? But what the f*ck do I know.

DC was great. Once I finally got there. My friend took me to brunch, the National Cathedral, dinner, a movie; standing in line to grab the very last tickets to ride the elevator at the Washington monument ahead of a boy and his grandparents (to whom I said, " I'm sorry!"), the botanical gardens, meeting blogger Mommy Needs a Cocktail and her beautiful son, Nathan over glorious mojitos, monuments, Library of Congress, monuments, monuments, monuments. My Target sandals held out for 7 hours, but the last two hours my feet were killing me. We walked all over the city, it was fabulous. I knew the Lincoln Memorial wound be cool, but holy shit! It was huge and very f*cking cool.

The humidity is something I don't enjoy, although what I did enjoy was not having scaly, I-live-in-the-high-desert lizard skin. For a few days, anyway.

Back to Central Oregon desert f*cking mother f*cker. Sorry, I'm a bit drunk tonight. Red wine is good!

Oh, books? I'm reading Nick Hornby's High Fidelity. I missed it when it came out a few years ago, but I saw the movie. Movies? I saw some offbeat flicks in DC. Loved "The Valet". It was very French, but very modern. It didn't pigeonhole the mistress, for once in my f*cking life. My friend and I rented "Julia" and "Old Joy". "Julia" was f*cking nuts; discombobulated plotline and whatthef*ckever. Jane Fonda needs to pull the corn cob out of her ass, is what I have to say. Her acting style is so stiff. "Old Joy" was filmed in Portland, but why they have people driving to Bagby Hot Springs via Highway 30, I'll never know. That drove me nuts. It was good in a "this isn't going anywhere" kind of way. Then, in the spirit of cinema verite, we saw "Killer of Sheep". You can't see it, like, anywhere, but we saw it, like, motherf*cker. My friend called it a great slice of life. It was, if you like your slices of life coming at you very slowly, very undramatically. I'm glad I saw it since it was shot in black and white and a UCLA film school project thingy and there is nothing like that around here.

Somebody told me I needed to post more pictures. Okay, fine. Tomorrow, when this hangover clears I'll post some pictures. Motherf*cker.

6 comments:

jade said...

Well, I very intrigued to visit DC now but I don't know if it's for the culture or the great potty-mouth it gives you...

melissa said...

Oh man. I cuss like that when I'm not drunk. I know you want to be my friend now! I'm glad you're back and that you had fun!

Lady M said...

Sounds like a good trip, minus travel, of course. How do you manage to put in all the *'s? I know that I'd miss a bunch!

Anonymous said...

Wow, I never knew Winnie could cuss like that! I hope you don't kiss your baby with that mouth and I REALLY hope you mommy doesn't read this post!

Anonymous said...

Wow!...must been a good bottle of wine!

Kristen said...

and to think I missed out on all the really good cussing.