Friday, June 22, 2007

It Just Wasn't My Day, And P.S. My Neighbor's a Freak

You know how some days just aren't yours? Yesterday was like that for me.

First, I decided to go swimming. This was a stupid idea for a number of reasons. Several weeks ago I had purchased a booklet of tickets for entry to the parks and rec swimming pool, and that coupled with something I read about "active recovery-or-other" and "doing another activity to give your regular running muscles a break-a-ding-ding" led me to think I should give swimming a shot. So I did.

Except, I can't really swim.

If by swim, you mean: "get from one side of the pool to the other without drowning"? Then yes, I can swim. But if your definition is the more traditional sense of crossing the length of the pool with a form akin to one that is widely recognized....then no, I can't really swim. You know the stroke where you propeller your arms around and at some point, breathe from the side? Yeah. I can't do that one. I can do it for three or four strokes, then I ingest water or it goes in my nose and I get all sputtery and have to stop. Instead, I do that stroke with my head out of the water, which is not graceful, nor is it very quick. The only thing it really does is to relieve my anxiety about taking in all that pool water when I do it the other way. Sure, I look like a novice and a fool, but what the heck. That horrendous form was hard to keep up, so for a break I would do the butterfly stroke-whosit. I do the old lady version, veeeeery sloooooowly. Oh well. I got through it.

After swimming I decided to go get a healthy lunch. There's a homestyle Mexican food place with a drive through, so I went there. Except I had placed my car in what I thought was the drive through and it turned out not to be the drive through, but rather, the parking lot for employees wherein they all park in a single file row. Nice! I was on the phone getting directions to the oral surgeon's office where I had an appointment that afternoon, so in my defense I wasn't really paying attention. I was sitting in what I thought was a long drive through line, so I thought I'd get on the phone and take care of the directions before I got driving again. See? Very responsible!

After I got off the phone a nice lady and her young daughter walked over to my car to tell me I was in the parking lot, not the drive through. She was very sweet, but no doubt inwardly thinking, "That is singlehandedly the most idiotic woman I have seen yet today!" I don't blame her.

At least I can give this town something to laugh about.

The day was not a total loss. I took an online quiz and learned this about myself:

I'm just like Lisa!
I'm Lisa, who are you? by

Yay! I'm not like Homer! And online quizzes are such wonderful stores to set your self-esteem by. At least, they are when they work in your favor.

Oh, I forgot to talk about my neighbor. To set it up, this is the second conversation we've had about this same, apparently important and fascinating-to-him topic. Our neighbor is a guy who lives two doors down from us with his mom. He's 20-ish, has dreadlocks, and is nice enough but there's just something about him that makes me feel like something is not quite right. Not dangerous or scary, just not right. Like Bobby Hill if Bobby Hill grew up to smoke dope, wear tie-dyed t-shirts, had dreads, and lived with his mom.

Last night, he knocked on our front door when we were all inside and asked where the cherries were on our cherry tree, did they drop off, he wondered? I replied that yes, a lot of them had but there were some on the tree if you looked closely.

He asked, not without a bit of paranoia, "Do you have a lot of birds? That's so weird that I haven't seen the cherries this year!" And on and on about the cherries and where were they and why is the tree not full of cherries?

Did I mention, this is the second conversation we've had about this? The first was months ago when he told me what a killer cherry tree we had, and that he couldn't wait for them to ripen. Which.....whatever. I guess the previous owners let him have some? I don't know. He also mentioned in this first conversation how he couldn't believe how much my husband had hacked on the apple tree right next to the cherry tree, and how I'd pruned the lavender back so much. I don't think he really understands the concept of pruning, and I am by far not an expert, so I just said simply that it helps the tree or plant grow better. I don't think it sunk in.

He had a few more incredulous comments to say as I listened and looked at him to see if his pupils were dilated, then he mumbled something else and left. Hey, maybe this was his "munchie" tree and he was freaking out about it.

It wasn't a terrible day, just, you know, kind of weird. I may even go swimming again, but I don't think I'm going to develop a swimming obsession just yet.


melissa said...

That part about thinking you were in the drive-through line? It makes me wish we lived close enough to have coffee and discuss cat litter.

Loralee Choate said...

Um. I think dreadboy may be hitting the bong a little too hard.