From January

If there is one good thing about being sick, it's the quality storytelling by certain members of this household.

High Art

It's a pancake...........


.......shaped like a heart. At one time, this was awesome, but I have since forgotten why that was.

Here is another way I spend my time:



It is easy to see the awesome in this photo, sans explanation.

What Blog? Where???

I have neglected the blog again, not for lack of subject matter but time to steal away and write. School, taxes, paperwork, sick cats, LIFE!!!! Good gravy.

The tax news is not as bad as last year, that is the good news. We were good boy scouts and were better prepared, and it has paid off, kind of.

OC is playing softball again this spring, but she is in the minors! I don't know what that means, but I think it is good. She's become very coordinated and strong, likely due to attending regular gymnastics classes. She advanced to Level 2 before we pulled her out to concentrate on softball. Two practices per week and one or two games per week is going to be plenty. We don't need gymnastics on top of it, thank you.

OH is coaching her team. They are peas in a pod.

Life for me rolls along. This term, I have ancient Roman history, Shakespeare, and French 103. Spring break felt very short.

Spring Break Survival Tips

I'm up to my armpits in recycling because I'm spending my valuable free, spring break- time getting to things I don't normally have time to do (nor do I want to do). Going through junk mail is one of those things.

I have a system that looks like this: on a daily basis, pay attention to mail that looks like a bill or otherwise significant correspondence; make a neat pile of everything else for later. It's a good thing I open all the mail eventually because I've found things (like checks) that looked like junk but actually weren't.

I'm also organizing the file cabinet. You know, cleaning out old bank statements and making new folders for papers that have lain about long enough to deserve a file folder of their very own. This is not an interesting topic, but when I read of the mundane tasks that other people do, it makes me feel better. I am sharing this with you by way of a public service. I hope you feel better now.

In order to survive this time of need, the grocery store has mercifully put Ben & Jerry's on sale. It's like they knew what I needed. There is nothing like a roaring fire on a cold spring evening to take the chill off of a bowl of Dublin Mudslide. Who needs Cancun?

Returning to my Cromagnon Roots

I've been in my pajamas all morning. I am enjoying not being under deadline to produce a paper. Last week? I had six papers to complete. S.I.X. I stayed up late, got up early, and got them all done.

My 4.0 GPA hangs in the balance with two upcoming finals, economics on Monday and French Tuesday night. Right now, they seem so far away. It's tempting to watch one of the movies that Netflix has sent (they always know what I'm in the mood to watch!) and catch up on knitting projects that had to be ignored last week. But I've never had a 4.0 GPA before, and I don't want to lose it. Remember how nutty I was over my math classes last year? I still am. I have not evolved.

At least I can study in my pajamas. I don't have to go anywhere today. It's just me, my daughter, two ancient cats, one less-ancient cat, six baby chicks, and one McConnell + Brue.

Hilarity

You might have guessed that school has gotten the better of me for the past couple of weeks. School, and illness, and getting behind.

You shouldn't suffer from my schedule, so enjoy the following:


Two sodium atoms are walking down the road chatting. All of a sudden, one stops and turns to its friend looking worried:

Na#1: “Oh, no...I think I’ve lost an electron!”

Na#2: “What, are you sure?”

Na#1: “Yes, I’m positive!”

House of Ill Ness

They are sick. My husband and daughter are coughing up mucous and heating the house with their fevers.

So far, I have escaped infection, but I don't know how long I can hold out.....

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road......ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

SARAH PALIN: BECAUSE, PRAISE JESUS, I WAS GONNA SHOOT HIS SORRY LIBERAL ASS OFF FOR BLOCKING MY VIEW OF RUSSIA!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of crossing?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Things My Husband Has Learned Because of Me

1. I've saved us hundreds of dollars because of the thousands of dollars I've spent (over the years) buying things when they are on sale.*

2. Ice cream really does make you heal faster. Period.


We didn't go skiing (downhill) on Saturday because Natalie wasn't quite over the sniffles. I didn't want her out in the cold air all day long because I thought it would make her cold worse.

My husband went XC skiing instead, for miles and miles. He woke up this morning with a cough and cold. When I told him that skiing had made him sick, he was so insulted he made me take it back.


* To be honest, he's not so sure about this one yet.

Animated Map

Every Once in a While, Economics Offers a Universal Truth

The relationship between productivity and costs is inverse. In other words, the higher the productivity of workers, the lower the cost to produce the thing, whatever it is. Economies of scale are the consequences of specialization of labor and management, more efficient capital, and spreading costs among units of output. The minimum efficient scale is the lowest level of output at which a firm's long run average total cost is at a minimum.

There is a point, however, when a company can get so large as to become ineffient, disorganized and uncoordinated. This is called diseconomy of scale.

The conclusion?

SIZE MATTERS.

I don't know about you, but I've been saying THAT for YEARS!

Extractive Personality

Most people change their phone's generic voicemail message to a personalized greeting. I appreciate that. I would like someone to produce an accounting for how much time is lost listening to the infernal standard greeting, the one which gives 45 options of things you might want to do instead of leaving a message. My guess would be that the number would be so high we would all be in danger of falling into a deep depression over it. The economy could turn around if only it weren't for the lost productivity and entrepreneurship.

No matter how soothing the voice, my veins shrink to half their original circumference and years come off my life as atherosclerosis sets in my cardiopulminary system every time I hear, "If you want to send a fax, press star. If you want to leave a callback number, press 45." Calls have been dropped from cell phones while drivers cross states, waiting to get through the endless options. "If you want to leave a number but not a message, press 17. If you want to hear an impression of your favorite Jewish comedian, press 18. If you want to hear an impression of your favorite gentile comedian, press 19...." There is relief when the beep finally does give way to expression. I'm calling someone on the phone! If they can't answer, I want to leave a message! What I don't want is to have other options. The only other option is to hang up and then have that aneurysm in private, because that is the only possible conclusion to what is a grandly stultifying experience. Type A personalities do not have an easy life.

These are the moments the zen Buddhist tradition was made to counteract. I wish I knew something about the zen Buddhist tradition.

Something that was extremely satisfying to me was when I cleaned my keyboard. I spent an inordinate amount of time on the phone today, mostly catching up with friends I have, through no fault of their own, ignored for months. I didn't mean to ignore them, it was completely something I was going through. Call it a hedgehog phase, where all I wanted was to curl up on a ball an be left alone. The requirement of such mature behavior is to call people you care about and explain yourself, so that hopefully they won't give up on being your friend.

While I was on the phone - this is the extraction part - I noticed my keyboard had cat hairs here and there. I pulled those away and looked more closely. The cat hair was only the tip of the iceberg. Underneath the cat hair was a layer of lint, lintberg? tiny little lint bunnies hanging out behind the "d" and "v" and most of the keys. I tried to get at them with a pencil, but the tip wasn't long enough. Using the pencil was like popping a zit that you just KNOW goes much deeper than the initial bloop of release yielded. There was more lint, and I could see it but not reach it. I found a sewing needle and used the blunt end to poke around and pull out little balls of lint and cathair. I do not have words for the way it made me feel, but suffice it to say that "orgasmic" would not be an overstatement. "Satisfying" is too benign, although it was satisfying. I am having trouble finding the exact adjective. What comes to mind is that it might be like the experience of a dermatologist, excising the bacteria fouling a tiny pore, and then performing the excision one at a time, over and over, until the entire visage is free of contaminants.

Well, that was a whole paragraph of writing which will not go into the writing portfolio. I'd like to say I could attribute it to drunkenness, but no. I don't think blogging sober is very zen, but it was the best I could come up with.

You Got a Problem With That?

Yeah, I said "buttery prose". Robert DeNiro was on "Sesame Street" the other day talking with Elmo. It's just that kind of a world.

Has anyone watched any good movies lately? Or is there no one reading this anymore?

I ask a lot, I know. To write whatever I want, publish them for the world to see, and then demand feedback after not posting for weeks and weeks.

The new year's going allright. Everyone's healthy and not missing a limb and for that I am grateful. By other standards, it's okay. School is going well for my daughter, work is changing a bit for my husband, and both are good. For me, I'm a bit disappointed with one of my classes and therefore have lost some motivation to work hard. That is a bad thing. I am working on it.

I have a paper due tomorrow and I feel as though I (or anyone) could throw a few words on a page and get an A. The class is supposed to be about the methods of studying a particular subject, but we spend an awful lot of time in class listening to anecdotes. We listen to the nuts and bolts of history, then are supposed to write about a particular force - continuity, change, etc. - that it feels disconnected. It feels like something is missing. That drive me nuts. When I feel as though I could teach the class better than the instructor, that is not a good thing. I felt that way in Math 111 last year. Focused class lectures with clear learning objectives help students immensely. I don't like paying to teach myself.

The snow is piling up. We have 5 inches. I'm planning to cross country ski today for a workout. I am going to imagine my frustration evaporating in that wintery forestland and come back with nothing to complain about.

Quote: Creativity

"Very few creative events flow as effortlessly and regularly as one of Johann Sebastian Bach's Brandenburg concertos. More often, they are characterized by the stops and starts, triumphs, reversals, sacrifices, and innovative choices, as the story of Rachel the shepherdess [from the Old Testament]. The story remorselessly clocks the ups and downs of any creative process, which characteristically contain stages of ambiguity, imperfection, discomfort, and sacrifice. It quietly demonstrates how the experience of creative achievement does not have to occur consistently through a project or process in order to achieve a desired result. Constant satisfaction is not an indicator of an ultimately satisfactory result. More usually, our most cherished creations withstand and even benefit from a little weathering.

In the first impulse to [begin a project] we are lightening and honey happy; madly in love. We have the strength to move any stone tablet from the top of a well single-handed. When the first flush fades, the reality sets in, and reversals of fortune, and inexplicable sacrifices and compromises, frustrations, disappointments, realizations of our own shortcomings and inadequacies, long lulls, patience, serenity, become almost routine...Having the courage to dispatch stop-and-go circumstances such as these with a soft yet measured heart is a formula that more realistically expresses the optimal progress of creativity and love...

And the setbacks temper the love, and the creativity, and the final product, rather than destroying it. The softness and the ability to be both gentle and bold yields fertile results. When we knit we can access some of these feelings. We work slowly while, to the untrained eye, life apparently passes us by. But we know better."

-----The Knitting Goddess, by Deborah Bergman

The book is full of stories, myths, and wisdom. Oh, and there are knitting patterns, but the real joy is the writing. If you're in the mood, it washes over you in the way only some books can, filling the dry cracks of your soul in a smoothing, buttery prose.

Cinema

I sometimes cannot believe the things I feel compelled to share. The last post, for instance. Why? Why must I write such things? I do not have any idea. In order that it may be pushed down the page and therefore out of mind, I offer to share, as change of pace, recent movie rentals you might consider.

It seems I am in my Kryzystof Kieslowski phase, because this director has made all of these I am going to list here now:

"Blue"

"White"

"Red"

(see them in that order, it's a trilogy)

"The Double Life of Veronique"

The cinematography for "Blue" and "Veronique" are absolutely exquisite. If you like color and interesting camera angles, these are especially good. Maybe you are like me: you like them but you didn't know you did. I understand.

Otherwise, still there is school and cold and kitty poop. Skiing at Hoodoo has been a lot more fun since we discovered the "other" side, where there are not a million people in line and there are easy runs.

Watch those and tell me what you thought.

Bellevue Isn't Just For Santy Claus

Remember the scene in "Indecent Proposal" when Demi Moore's character rolls around naked on the bed with her million dollars? I was in the college library yesterday when the same urge overwhelmed me. All of those titles! All of that ancient history! To be surrounded by knowledge, skin-to-page with good writing, absorbing it by osmosis...

Now you know I am certifiably nutso.

I love my history class. It is historiography, or, the study of history. What the heck? Does it sound like a lot of liberal arts, social science clap-trap designed to get more tuition money without really teaching anything? Au contraire mon rossignol! It's fantastic. We get to read articles about entirely different subjects in history and then write a response paper based on an aspect of historical study. Is it a reconstruction? Is it about unexpected developments? What about causation? How does new technology affect life and society? This is the kind of thing that floats my canoe.

Happy New Year!

2009 already? I expected to kiss my sweetie and ring in the new year properly. Except, I fell alseep watching a movie and so I went to bed for what was to be a two-hour nap. What really happened was, I hauled my aching behind to bed at 9:30 and did not stir until 2009 had been here for seven hours.

We're up in McCall, Idaho with my mom. Winter is a great time to get away, even though the travel can suck. We drove, in order to bring all of our skis and to have a four-wheel drive vehicle here, and had compliant weather to do so. After an afternoon and overnight in Boise, we are in McCall for the duration of the week.

It's beautiful here! The edges of the lake are snow-covered, the dock is piled high with snow. Four or five deer have been in the yard, where there is a pine tree under which they've taken shelter. I'll have pictures after I get home and download them, blahblahblah, technical claptrap.

Yesterday, we skiied at Brundage. It took me most of the day to get confident on the Bear run, but I finally did. We started at 9:30 am, and finished at 4 pm. We were all exhausted after that. My husband has found renewed energy with the new year, and has headed out to cross country ski with the sunrise this morning. He is nuts! But I love him.

The Occidental Tourist soldiers on.

Happy New Year!

My Daughter, the Card

(Sound of back door opening)

ME: "Natalie? Where are you?"

HER: "I'm over here."

(sound of back door closing.)

ME: "What are you doing?"

HER: "Giving the kitty an outdoor recess."

Monday, Monday

It's happened again. Remember this? I couldn't find the other entry, but it happened TWICE, in two short years. Time number three happened last Friday. I cannot believe my coffeepot is broken....AGAIN!!!

Anyway. Finals week this week. I'm studying madly and also, knitting. Too bad I'm not enrolled in a college class called, "Hand-knit hats" because I'd be doing very, very well in it.

Did you take the American History test? It's more fun than a two-hour Swedish massage. Not buying it? It is more fun than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, but it also depends upon your feelings toward history. With that, I take my leave. I gots ta study sum more.

American History

Are you more knowledgeable than the average citizen? After being forwarded one of those ubiquitous internet quizzes, I found this one to be more substantial than most. Instead of discovering whether I was more like a cinnamon raisin bagel or sesame seed, this one is designed to discover how ignorant I am (or am not) to the construct and governance in my own country. More information here.

The quiz contains 33 questions designed to measure knowledge of America’s founding principles, political history, international relations, and market economy. Americans from all age groups, income brackets, and political ideologies fail the test of civic literacy.

• Americans age 25 to 34 score an average of 46% on the exam; Americans age 65 and over score 46%.
  
  
• Americans earning an annual income between $30,000 and $50,000 score an average of 46%; Americans earning over $100,000 score 55%.
  
  
• Liberals score an average of 49%; conservatives score 48%.
  
  
• Americans who go to church once a week score an average of 48%; Americans who never go to church score 50%.
  

The average score for all 2,508 Americans taking the following test was 49%; college educators scored 55%.

I know those are a lot of percentages and measures, but here is one more: I personally answered 26 out of 33 correctly — 78.79 %. It's a good thing I am in college, then. Can you do better?

TAKE THE QUIZ