Friday, March 30, 2007

How To Drive Me Crazy

No, not THAT FedEx. What, you thought this was Britney's blog? I still have all my own hair, thank you.

Federal Express - the large shipping company - left a note on my door yesterday which said something to the effect of:

Sorry we missed you! We'll be back tomorrow...sometime. Be available all day until 7 pm, please! Thanks. P.S. You can't sign this tag, you have to be home to sign for it otherwise you're not getting your package, beyotch. Hugs! FE

By way of explanation: my mom shipped some wine to us from Hawaii; couldn't ship it to her home; will pick it up when she comes to see me today on way home from long road trip; end of boring story.

I wanted to go out for some exercise this morning. Get up off the floor! Yes, I do exercise occasionally out of doors. Then I remembered the FedEx note that smacked of the cable company. Honestly, can I not leave the house the entire day lest I miss this delivery which you insist must be done at your convenience and which needs my signature or we wait another day?

I'm a problem-solver. Here's what I did: I called FedEx and entered the number, but it didn't give me any more detail than I already had. I wrote a note on a Post-It and put it on the front door. It read something to the effect of: I am out from (this time) to (that time). Can you tell me when you'll be here and I'll be sure to be home? Please??? Thank you! Me. No Hugs.

And then I went rollerblading.

Yes! Rollerblading!!! What?????

Anyway, it turned out that the delivery guy showed up just before I got ready to get into the shower, but not before I left him another Post-It note. And because I didn't want to tell the guy in a note that I was in the shower lest he, I don't know, try to break in or something, I instead wrote that I was indisposed.

I told him when he showed up that it made me anxious and I felt I couldn't leave the house, and he laughed. I laughed, too. But I was serious. I mean, I have groceries and important things to do, man.

Don't fence me in, FedEx.


sweetsalty kate said...

Hey there OG, great story. So true! You should post it on Sutori ( - a website dedicated to telling customer stories. It's cool. People can comment and it's actually a way to rate companies and potentially be heard.

Disclosure: I do some work with the company who started sutori. Super-cool, passionate people. There's just something so liberating about having a place to go with good vibes and frustration alike. I'm kinda addicted.

Jen Robinson said...

You should have seen me the day I was expecting my new laptop via FedEx (which naturally has to be signed for). I got up really early to shower before he could possibly come, and spent the day at home, using the bathroom in the dark (because the fan is loud, and I might have missed the doorbell). Ah... modern conveniences. Thanks for the laugh!

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

We had something similar happen -- not with FedEx, but with my neice and nephew. I waited around for TWO days for them to drop off their dog for us to babysit. It's way more irrating when you're related to the person who's blowing you off... On the other hand, I wouldn't care if my neice, at any rate, caught me in the shower : )

Mrs. Chicken said...

This kind of stuff makes me NUTS!

marnie said...

Oh no no no. Kevin Federline's website scares me. Bad.

I have to go clear my internet history right now before I get some sort of internet transmitted disease. Bleh.