No, not THAT FedEx. What, you thought this was Britney's blog? I still have all my own hair, thank you.
Federal Express - the large shipping company - left a note on my door yesterday which said something to the effect of:
Sorry we missed you! We'll be back tomorrow...sometime. Be available all day until 7 pm, please! Thanks. P.S. You can't sign this tag, you have to be home to sign for it otherwise you're not getting your package, beyotch. Hugs! FE
By way of explanation: my mom shipped some wine to us from Hawaii; couldn't ship it to her home; will pick it up when she comes to see me today on way home from long road trip; end of boring story.
I wanted to go out for some exercise this morning. Get up off the floor! Yes, I do exercise occasionally out of doors. Then I remembered the FedEx note that smacked of the cable company. Honestly, can I not leave the house the entire day lest I miss this delivery which you insist must be done at your convenience and which needs my signature or we wait another day?
I'm a problem-solver. Here's what I did: I called FedEx and entered the number, but it didn't give me any more detail than I already had. I wrote a note on a Post-It and put it on the front door. It read something to the effect of: I am out from (this time) to (that time). Can you tell me when you'll be here and I'll be sure to be home? Please??? Thank you! Me. No Hugs.
And then I went rollerblading.
Yes! Rollerblading!!! What?????
Anyway, it turned out that the delivery guy showed up just before I got ready to get into the shower, but not before I left him another Post-It note. And because I didn't want to tell the guy in a note that I was in the shower lest he, I don't know, try to break in or something, I instead wrote that I was indisposed.
I told him when he showed up that it made me anxious and I felt I couldn't leave the house, and he laughed. I laughed, too. But I was serious. I mean, I have groceries and important things to do, man.
Don't fence me in, FedEx.