Friday, March 17, 2006

Grace

It's true that life is everchanging, that life is like a river.

Here in my occidental coast world, change is brewing. I can feel it in the air like you can smell a distant rainstorm on a summer breeze. I have known it was coming, and have been preparing my mind for the uncomfortableness I feel at transitions. The thing is, more than discomfort I am feeling relieved, much like the parched prairie grass is made green again by a life-giving shower. The dry, tiredness of my soul seek cleansing refreshment. I welcome this newness, and also this new attitude toward transformation.

There's only so much you can learn in one place/ The more time that I wait, the more time that I waste/ I haven't got much time to waste I'm gonna make my way/ I'm not afraid of what I'll face but I'm afraid to stay...

--- "Jump" by Madonna, from Confessions on a Dancefloor

Untrue to my normal form, I am not afraid of what I'll face in the future. I have always been scared of change, to be sure, because of the unknown and how that makes me feel insecure. But more than that, now I feel Trust in that what I'll need will be there for me. I don't know how I know it, I just do. Having that Trust trumps the Fear, and makes room for Excitement about Transformation. After all, change can bring about good things, too.

I know that I can no longer stay here. I no longer want to. Bring it on, Life. I am ready.

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