In the past, when a time for transition arose I reacted negatively. I tended to fear change and shrink from it, only doing what was necessary to go along with the tide rather than be the harbinger of major change. It felt better to me to do things that way. It might be more accurate to say that I feared being at the helm of sweeping change, because if it turned out badly then I would be responsible, and those around me who were affected would hate me forever and life would end.
What a way to go through life! No wonder I have problems with anxiety, what with the weight of the world on my shoulders and all.
I've learned that the people who truly love me will not abandon me at the drop of a hat; that life is all about change and transformation and that these things are good for us; to go with it only eases my comfort; there is no way to stop the change, only to learn to roll with it better; that when chaos arises there is usually a lesson there if I'd only stop freaking out and hear it.
That is why I am not freaking out today. I have scheduled a meeting later today with my boss to talk with him about some major changes I am making in my life. The wonderful thing is, I am not afraid of these changes. They are necessary, and will allow me to further explore and express my creative side, spend more time with my daughter, and be an all around breath of fresh air in my life and for my family.
There is still an unknown factor which does make me uncomfortable, but I have an overwhelming trust in that, things are the way they should be; I will be okay.
I am going to talk more about the details at a later date. Soon, just not right now. Hang in there with me!