Thursday, July 28, 2005

Say Byebye to Soy

I can barely bring myself to say it. The thought just makes me angry. But this isn't a place for me to think (singularly), it's about communicating my thoughts through typing. I'll just have to go ahead and say it: I think I'm allergic to soy. And crappity doodah day about that! I have several bottles of lovely Odwalla Super Protein, with SOY. I have breakfast bars, protein-enriched with SOY. I treat myself once a week to a mocha, made with SOY because of lactose-intolerance.

NOW what?

I came to this conclusion thusly: Yesterday after I ate my soy-filled breakfast, I felt a familiar feeling, and it wasn't good little Timmy. Oh no, not good at all. It was The Migraine, lurking in the shadows and promising long hours full of pain right in the center of my brain where no medication can reach it. As the day wore on, it continued creeping its merry way until it reached full strength. Well, not quite full strength: I didn't get to the nausea stage. If I had, I would've left work. There is no way to survive the nausea stage without relegating one's self to a dark room. Instead, I stayed at work and soldiered on, downed 800 mg of pain reliever, and awaited the slight relief it would allow. It was enough to continue through the day, albeit somewhat more crankily. I'm better today. Today’s breakfast was this: a cookie. A wheat cookie. Take that, body! Ha!

It all began when I was 25, and noticed something strange happening every time I ate dairy: my body said, “No way! We hereby enforce the right to quit digesting lactose! Exit stage right!”; then corn, wheat and eggs soon followed suit. Those, I can deal with. Sure, I dream about big, buttery tubs of movie theater popcorn, but the killer headaches that follow such indulgence are enough to make me limit my intake to 2 or 3 per year. And plus, there’s Lactaid, those lovely little white pills that allow me to enjoy a bowl of Ben & Jerry’s. Now it appears I need Cornaid, and Soyaid. I mean, shit!

So far, so good, cookie and all. I'm seriously bummed about this new development, though. I was feeling so healthy (until the raging headache). I mean, soy is good for you, why couldn’t it not make me sick? So many protein products that are wheat-dairy free are made with soy. Do they make rice protein things? I suppose I’ll be on the hunt to find the answer to that. Meanwhile, shit!

I know it could be a lot worse. I could have Krohn’s disease or colon cancer or something, I know. I am grateful it’s not something serious like that. But, food allergies and sensitiivities are annoying, and makes it that much harder to plan meals. Especially breakfast. I guess I’ll have to employ some creativity, and spend more time in the health food section searching out alternatives. Oh well. There are worse things.

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