Highly Plausible Postulation About Food: Dessert, Specifically

I contend that no-bake cookies are good for you. You know what I mean when I say “no-bake cookies”, right? It’s a mixture of milk, butter, sugar, cocoa, oatmeal and vanilla that you cook on the stovetop and drop onto waxed paper to cool. You don’t bake them, hence the clever name.

Allrighty then. These lovely little morsels of chocolatey goodness contain a large amount of oatmeal. That is the stuff that binds it all together and gives it texture. I swear, whenever I eat a few of these I get healthier. I can just feel the cholesterol being rounded up by the fiber contained in the oatmeal and herded out of my bloodstream. Yes, there’s milk, butter and sugar, but in smaller amounts than the oatmeal. Therefore, oatmeal trumps them, and they are a healthy food! From this rationalization, you might be able to gain some insight as to why I was 25 pounds overweight for about 8 years. It was partially from lack of motivation, partially because I ate for emotional reasons, but mostly due to this skill to rationalize about food that left my body inundated with sugar and crap, that also might incidentally contain something remotely healthy, like oatmeal.

I’m just saying, these things are tasty, easy and quick to make, and while they cannot be considered health food, are not as bad for you as other things. Evil high fructose corn syrup, for instance.

Here is the recipe:

¼ c. butter
½ c. milk
2 c. sugar
3 Tb. cocoa
3 c. oatmeal
1 tsp. vanilla
Place first four ingredients in a pan on the stovetop. Stir together, bring to a boil. Boil for one minute. Add remaining ingredients. Drop onto waxed paper, let cool.

Enjoy!